I've had three bouts three weekends in a row. I've won each one Alhamdulillah. I have given karate my soul and I cannot focus half as much on my PhD. I feel this is a time for karate. I need it. I want it. I crave it when I am not doing it.
But yesterday was a hard night for me. At each bout there have been professional photographers. As I see the pictures of myself when I'm fighting...the expression on my face and the passion I know I try to put into each punch...I am saddened. While training, while leading up to the fight, and even during the fight...I never think of my experience with this man. Never. Karate is my release. I think of nothing but the task at hand and trying to perfect my technique as best I can.
But. When I see pictures of myself fighting...I know where the deep emotional attachment to the sport comes from. It saddened me last night - and has kind of put a damper on my day.
Some things never leave you. I must learn to accept that.
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