A Reflecting Arab Muslim Girl From Around the Corner

Friday, November 25, 2011

update | "move on"

my cousin went to visit the family - his family...she suspects he is seeing someone else (he is still married).

she told me to "move on" and that its not worth it to allow my memory of him to run my life. i have to stop being angry she says. he has moved on with his life so i should to.

im not surprised. its expected. dropped me and moved to someone else...i knew it. but i wish i could just erase his whole existence out of my life.

he has messed me up, is still messing me up, and messing my relationship with people up. i hate him so much.


  1. These last three entries are strange...out of character; in some ways familiar, but in many ways an unfamiliar voice.

  2. wrinkledman, how much comfort i get from seeing your name on this blog.

    i wrote those three entries in a very bad state - i find your comment very interesting. what about them seems out of character - the unfamiliar voice you refer to? please do share.

    i'm doing much better. it is amazing how human emotions jump from one state to another. i had my fight - it was supposed to be canceled then when i got home on Friday it was confirmed. i won - and it was a beautiful experience. i hope to write about it soon.

    do share your thoughts on your comment. thank you so much.

  3. Just in grammar you have gone from I to i and from you to u, as well as from leading with an uppercase to beginning a sentence using lowercase instead. There is more, but I cannot quite articulate it yet because it came to me as a whole realization, a feeling. Perhaps I was just picking up on your grumpy mood and scrappiness. Have you become more comfortable on these pages and let your guard down a bit? Are you more willing not to be beautiful? More real? Less concerned about offending? These are all good things and will allow you to embrace your cranky side and become less cranky as a result.

    Don't worry about Heavens. She will stay your friend if you keep investing in your relationship with her and vice versa. If not, then you will both know what's up. She is right, the ability and willingness to empathize is far from evenly apportioned, just like everything else. Yours is a gift that he took advantage of, turning you against yourself, the bastard.

    I'm looking forward to reading about your match.

  4. Wrinkledman - you are right. I wasn't myself when I posted the last three posts - and I do hope that it means I am becoming more real on these pages...more direct in saying what I need to. I think you hit the nail on the head.

    I do want to write about the match...I've spoken about it so much now though that it hasn't felt like it's time yet to give it to my fingers. I will soon for you though.